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Bios. Help?
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Whit
Backstage Pass


Joined: 27 Feb 2009
Posts: 431
Location: Cincinnati

PostPosted: Thu Jun 27, 2013 7:44 am    Post subject: Bios. Help? Reply with quote

Hi Smile

I'm getting ready to launch my new site, and I'm struggling with the bio. I would love opinions.

Here's my old one

Whitney is a voice actor with a true to life style and a natural sense of expression. Her voice is full of color, and her perk knob? It goes to 11, but is fully adjustable.

Whitney studied acting at Miami University in Oxford OH, where she graduated with a BFA in theatre performance. She works primarily from her fully equipped home studio, but loves going to local studios too. Seriously, fresh air!! Real people you can shake hands with and give a smile!! What's not to love, right?

Clients describe Whitney as versatile and energetic (they often wonder what she had for breakfast, and if they can please have some), very creative, and full of new ideas.

*********

Here's the new one that I tweaked from my ad agency friend

Whitney has a colorful, fresh range that will bring genuine excitement and style to your ears, and your project.

A trained theatre actor with a strong focus on creative improvisation, she comes to the mic ready to deliver the sound you want, or discover the sound you've been dreaming up in your head. Need a jingle singer? She's a one woman choir of a thousand voices.

Listen for yourself. Share her demos. Or better yet, contact her for your next project and you'll know: Whitney is just as much fun to work with as she is to listen to.


What do you think?
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heyguido
MMD


Joined: 31 Aug 2011
Posts: 2507
Location: RDU, the Geek Capitol of the South

PostPosted: Thu Jun 27, 2013 8:03 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

The second one reads like ad copy.

The original sounds like you.

Just sayin'.... Inoccent
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Don Brookshire
"Wait.... They wanna PAY me for this?"
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Fran McClellan
The Thirteenth Floor


Joined: 15 Feb 2010
Posts: 1314
Location: Middle of Nowhere, PA

PostPosted: Thu Jun 27, 2013 9:19 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I like both, but I agree with Don...the first one sounds more you.

On a side note, I know the standard these days is to have bios in third person, but I'd like to see more of them written in first person. Like you are telling me about yourself instead of someone telling me about you...ya know?
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Scott Pollak
The Gates of Troy


Joined: 01 Jun 2010
Posts: 1903
Location: Looking out at the San Juan mountains

PostPosted: Thu Jun 27, 2013 10:25 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

+1 to Don's comments.
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Scott R. Pollak
Clients include Pandora, NPR Atlanta, Wells Fargo, Cisco, Humana, Publix, UPS, AT&T, HP, Xerox and more.

www.voicebyscott.com
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Whit
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Location: Cincinnati

PostPosted: Thu Jun 27, 2013 12:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I really appreciate you all offering up your opinions, thanks.
I think I'll stick with the original, I agree.
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Whit
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PostPosted: Thu Jun 27, 2013 12:52 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Also, suggested to me as a tag line - "The voice that shines"

? I feel meh about it.
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Scott Pollak
The Gates of Troy


Joined: 01 Jun 2010
Posts: 1903
Location: Looking out at the San Juan mountains

PostPosted: Thu Jun 27, 2013 12:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Whit wrote:
Also, suggested to me as a tag line - "The voice that shines"

? I feel meh about it.


So do I, Whit. You're way too unique and original for something so... so..... bleccch.
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Scott R. Pollak
Clients include Pandora, NPR Atlanta, Wells Fargo, Cisco, Humana, Publix, UPS, AT&T, HP, Xerox and more.

www.voicebyscott.com
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Whit
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Joined: 27 Feb 2009
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PostPosted: Thu Jun 27, 2013 1:05 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Aw, thanks Scott.

Yeah. Meh. Blech.
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Whit
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Joined: 27 Feb 2009
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Location: Cincinnati

PostPosted: Thu Jun 27, 2013 1:22 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hmm....

So now I'm thinking maybe Natural Born Voiceover, or naturally grown voiceover. My site has a bit of a flower theme so maybe the second? Maybe nothing?
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DougVox
The Gates of Troy


Joined: 10 Jan 2007
Posts: 1706
Location: Miami

PostPosted: Thu Jun 27, 2013 1:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

What Don said.

Also:

Organic Voiceover?

Voiceover that's purely organic?

Free Range Voiceover?

The Gluten Free Voice?

Non-GMO Voiceover?


Wink
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Whit
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Location: Cincinnati

PostPosted: Thu Jun 27, 2013 2:04 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

lol Doug.
I totally thought the Non-Gmo one. Heh.
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heyguido
MMD


Joined: 31 Aug 2011
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Location: RDU, the Geek Capitol of the South

PostPosted: Thu Jun 27, 2013 2:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Free Range Voiceover.... Don't be chicken.... Give her a try! Laugh

Seriously.... Nuthin'. Don't try to be cute.... Just you.
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Don Brookshire
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Whit
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Joined: 27 Feb 2009
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Location: Cincinnati

PostPosted: Thu Jun 27, 2013 2:11 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Free Range Voiceover - Set your project FREE!!!

Completely unrelated to this, my husband and I came up with the idea of a riding vacuum cleaner. I came up with the tagline "when your first world problems are REALLY a problem."
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heyguido
MMD


Joined: 31 Aug 2011
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Location: RDU, the Geek Capitol of the South

PostPosted: Thu Jun 27, 2013 2:24 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Here ya go....


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Don Brookshire
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Whit
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PostPosted: Thu Jun 27, 2013 2:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I've always loved a good kitty dressed like a shark.
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