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Looking for critique: E-Learning/Instructional Demo

 
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BruceG
Been Here Awhile


Joined: 01 Jun 2012
Posts: 259
Location: just south of Boston, MA

PostPosted: Sun Nov 25, 2012 4:24 pm    Post subject: Looking for critique: E-Learning/Instructional Demo Reply with quote

Hi all,

A Happy Thanksgiving to you all! I wanted to post a recent E-Learning/Instructional Demo for your review. Folks here have been very generous with previous critiques and I am VERY grateful for that.

As always, tough, honest feedback is what I'm looking for in all phases of what you hear (i.e. - the read itself, production, accoustics, etc.). As always, I thank you in advance for any feedback given. Smile

BTW, I've been running into problems with Internet Explorer accessing my Soundcloud account. For best results, please try Google Chrome or Mozilla Firefox to listen. Thank you! Smile

E-Learning/Instructional Demo
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"What was that? An exhibition? We need emotional content." - Bruce Lee, Enter The Dragon
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BruceG
Been Here Awhile


Joined: 01 Jun 2012
Posts: 259
Location: just south of Boston, MA

PostPosted: Sat Dec 08, 2012 6:23 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi - just wanted to give this a little bump to see if there are any takers on this.

Many thanks in advance... Smile
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"What was that? An exhibition? We need emotional content." - Bruce Lee, Enter The Dragon
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Jeffrey Kafer
Assistant Zookeeper


Joined: 09 Dec 2006
Posts: 4931
Location: Location, Location!

PostPosted: Sat Dec 08, 2012 10:02 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Please dont bump threads in the hopes of getting critiques: http://www.vo-bb.com/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=21
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Jeff
http://JeffreyKafer.com
Voice-overload Web comic: http://voice-overload.com
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BruceG
Been Here Awhile


Joined: 01 Jun 2012
Posts: 259
Location: just south of Boston, MA

PostPosted: Sat Dec 08, 2012 11:27 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sorry - my apologies. Will definitely not happen again...
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"What was that? An exhibition? We need emotional content." - Bruce Lee, Enter The Dragon
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Bruce
Boardmeister


Joined: 06 Jun 2005
Posts: 7978
Location: Portland, OR

PostPosted: Sat Dec 08, 2012 6:57 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'll give you one general direction. Watch your diction. There are a few slightly slurry spots that shouldn't be left in any production and certainly not a demo. Practice, practice, practice. This from a true mush mouth by nature.

Also, all of your pieces seem to be a bit "salesy" in topic. How about adding something truly instructional, as in equipment, software, or company procedures, and without music behind it.

B
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I'm not a Zoo, but over the years I've played one on radio/TV. .
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BruceG
Been Here Awhile


Joined: 01 Jun 2012
Posts: 259
Location: just south of Boston, MA

PostPosted: Sat Dec 08, 2012 7:48 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi Bruce - thanks for those observations! It's not always easy to pick up on these things; I can definitely put this knowledge to work for me. Smile
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