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Would love some peeps to give my IVR demo a listen

 
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JCDunn
Contributor IV


Joined: 21 Jun 2010
Posts: 134
Location: Near Seattle, closer to Everett

PostPosted: Tue Feb 22, 2011 6:25 pm    Post subject: Would love some peeps to give my IVR demo a listen Reply with quote

This is my first swipe at updating my IVR demo. Please, take a listen and tell me what I can do to make it better.

http://soundcloud.com/jcdunnvox/demo-ivr-demo-1

Thank you!
-JCD
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J. Christopher
Your words deserve a clear voice.
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Scott Pollak
The Gates of Troy


Joined: 01 Jun 2010
Posts: 1903
Location: Looking out at the San Juan mountains

PostPosted: Wed Feb 23, 2011 6:18 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

First thoughts:
- Lose the cutesy intro. While it IS clever, it wastes 7 seconds of a potential client's time that you'll never get back. I've always heard that, on average, a client listens for about 7 seconds to a demo or audition before deciding to move on or not. I was listening to critique, not to hire you, and even I got a bit antsy after the first 7 seconds wondering when it was going to begin. Just get right into it. Lose the two second ring after the intro, too. Just get to the voice.

- Getting further into it now and I keep hearing those annoying phone rings between every byte. PLEASE think about ditching those!!

- You have a super-friendly voice; reminds me of the Smucker's guy. But I'm hearing absolutely NO variation at all here. No change in energy level, cadence, delivery style, etc. So the problem is, if someone wants someone other than the Smucker's guy, they'll probably move on. Can you do a wider range? Also, the scripts all sound exactly the same (and none of them sound like real projects).

I'd recommend the following:

- Lose the intro and all SFX
- Get about 3, maybe 4, scripts that are quite different and that don't all start out with "Hello...."
- Shorten the whole thing. IVR is not brain surgery. Within about 20 seconds a client will decide if you're the right voice or not.
- Show a wider range, more energy, more smile in your voice.

I'll bet you can do it, though. I love the sound of your voice overall. If you're not doing audiobooks, you ought to look into it. ESPECIALLY children's books!
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Scott R. Pollak
Clients include Pandora, NPR Atlanta, Wells Fargo, Cisco, Humana, Publix, UPS, AT&T, HP, Xerox and more.

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Mike Sommer
A Hundred Dozen


Joined: 05 May 2008
Posts: 1222
Location: Boss Angeles

PostPosted: Wed Feb 23, 2011 8:16 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

+1 on what Scott said.

Mostly what I heard was all the same, and most of that was you talking at someone and not talking to someone, and not much variety of emotional or vocal delivery. After the intro (which you should lose) there's not much difference, you could have stopped there and we would have heard it all.
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JCDunn
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Joined: 21 Jun 2010
Posts: 134
Location: Near Seattle, closer to Everett

PostPosted: Wed Feb 23, 2011 11:09 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Scott and Mike-

Thank you! This is EXACTLY the type of feedback I'm looking for.

-JCD
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J. Christopher
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JCDunn
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Joined: 21 Jun 2010
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Location: Near Seattle, closer to Everett

PostPosted: Wed Feb 23, 2011 1:28 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Here's my second attempt, using the great feedback from Scott and Mike. Please, critique... what could be better?

http://soundcloud.com/jcdunnvox/ivr-demo-2
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J. Christopher
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cyclometh
King's Row


Joined: 06 Aug 2010
Posts: 1051
Location: Olympia, WA

PostPosted: Wed Feb 23, 2011 1:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

There's some kind of reverb or room dynamics processing that's making it sound slightly echoey, especially on the end of sentences. It's just a tiny bit but it did distract me a bit.
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Corey "Vox Man" Snow
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JCDunn
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Joined: 21 Jun 2010
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Location: Near Seattle, closer to Everett

PostPosted: Wed Feb 23, 2011 1:55 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Good catch Corey. Reverb is gone.
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J. Christopher
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SkinnyJohnny
Backstage Pass


Joined: 12 Aug 2007
Posts: 462
Location: Asheville, NC

PostPosted: Wed Feb 23, 2011 4:16 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

A big improvement! I think you should still change the style up to show your range more. I'm hearing the smile in your voice now. Maybe vary your speed and tone up a little.
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Scott Pollak
The Gates of Troy


Joined: 01 Jun 2010
Posts: 1903
Location: Looking out at the San Juan mountains

PostPosted: Wed Feb 23, 2011 4:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Better, but not where it needs to be yet.

For starters, DON'T start with the Omega 99 plug, because it sounds like a COMMERCIAL reel and not an IVR reel.

Consider adding some mux underneath one or two of the tracks for variety. A lot of IVR messages have mux behind them. Oh wait... there it is.... at the end.
Put some more in there throughout several areas to spice it up.

Still need more variety in your pacing and delivery style, but you're certainly heading in the right direction.
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Scott R. Pollak
Clients include Pandora, NPR Atlanta, Wells Fargo, Cisco, Humana, Publix, UPS, AT&T, HP, Xerox and more.

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Mike Sommer
A Hundred Dozen


Joined: 05 May 2008
Posts: 1222
Location: Boss Angeles

PostPosted: Wed Feb 23, 2011 9:01 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yeah better, but not doing much for me.

You need to sound like you're talking to the person on the phone. What you should do is have someone record you during a conversation, with out you know it. This is how you'll learn the conversational you.

Slowing down the pace will help, along with not projecting so much.

Just keep working on it and don't be in such a hurry to get something out.
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Acoustics are counter-intuitive. If one thing is certain about acoustics, it is that if anything seems obvious it is probably wrong.
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JCDunn
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Joined: 21 Jun 2010
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Location: Near Seattle, closer to Everett

PostPosted: Thu Feb 24, 2011 12:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

A BIG thanks to everybody who provided feedback. With back channel responses and remarks from here, I received a number of positive replies as well as some great tips to make the demo better.

-JCD
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J. Christopher
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