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New Commercial Draft

 
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Lance Blair
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Joined: 03 Jun 2007
Posts: 2281
Location: Atlanta

PostPosted: Thu Sep 17, 2009 1:07 pm    Post subject: New Commercial Draft Reply with quote

Here's a draft for a new commercial demo. Your feedback is greatly appreciated.

http://www.lanceblair.net/sharing/LanceBlairSeptemberCommercialDraft.mp3
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bobsouer
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Location: Pittsburgh, PA

PostPosted: Thu Sep 17, 2009 2:50 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Lance,

Sweet! My only suggestion would be to remove the Discovery Network "Promo" piece because it doesn't really belong in a commercial demo. It sounds great, though.
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Lance Blair
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PostPosted: Thu Sep 17, 2009 4:02 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks. Discovery is going away...I've got a connection I'm working on there, so I wanted to get this in the mix.

I think Discovery needs to be replaced by a food/desire piece. I've got a Stonyfield Farms piece in mind, and I'd like to replace the Cannon spot with a frantic global business leading to calm resolution piece. That will probably carry through 'Furniture' and 'Smoking' nicely.
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Bruce
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Location: Portland, OR

PostPosted: Fri Sep 18, 2009 8:10 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Some very nice work in there. I agree and disagree with Bob at the same time. Yes it's probably better to put the promo work elsewhere, but it's a really good read. Something with that strength of read would be a good replacement. I also might drop the quit smoking piece. Maybe it's just me, but I'm just not a fan of spots featuring negatives or illnesses or the like in a demo.

Thanks for sharing your process with us,

B
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Lance Blair
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Location: Atlanta

PostPosted: Fri Sep 18, 2009 9:44 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks guys...funny I got critiqued elsewhere for just being flat and too announcery elsewhere by Cali people. And I agree with them, overall it's too announcery.

The smoking thing is tough, I agree. I do work for The American Cancer Society and I wanted to do something as positive as possible, but it's best to let that go. I want to replace it with something where I'm interacting with a female voice (any takers???)

I like Audi, but it's got the same music tempo as Discovery, and they're both Announcery. I think I'll need to put a more "emotional" piece between them, replace Smoking and I'll be in better shape. I think Cannon is redundant with Audi, so that might have to go. For "flow" I think I need a really uptempo read there. Cannon just ruins the pace.

The Cartoon Network piece at the end is fun and stoooopid, but dammit I want to do more work like that, and Atlanta is very conducive to this kind of stuff.
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Lance Blair
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PostPosted: Wed Sep 30, 2009 10:04 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I just "remastered" this demo with the AA3 remastering and stereo expansion plugins. I think it really gives it a nice sheen now. Still gotta work on my performance and script selection, but I'm very happy with the way it technically sounds. Thoughts appreciated...thumbs down or thumbs up...or even "meh". Smile

http://lanceblair.net/commercial.mp3
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Eddie Eagle
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Joined: 23 Apr 2008
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PostPosted: Wed Sep 30, 2009 1:56 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

It does sound good, really good. But, where are you?

That's the same thing I used to get all the time because all I had on my demo were archtypes. Now I have a little of me and little announcer, a little this and that. More diversity.

If you plan on only doing announcer stuff I'd rename the demo to Commercial Announcer Demo maybe.
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Lance Blair
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PostPosted: Wed Sep 30, 2009 4:55 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I know what you mean, I'm working on it ...thanks for the compliment on the sound, though! Smile
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Bruce
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PostPosted: Thu Oct 01, 2009 5:45 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

The sound is improved...lush without being over compressed.

Now time for a couple of softer, gentler, more personal reads?

B
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Lance Blair
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Location: Atlanta

PostPosted: Thu Oct 01, 2009 9:45 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Bruce wrote:
The sound is improved...lush without being over compressed.

Now time for a couple of softer, gentler, more personal reads?

B


You got it!
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Lance Blair
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Location: Atlanta

PostPosted: Tue Mar 02, 2010 2:06 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Okay Bob, Bruce, and Eddie...here's a new version that brings more of me myself and i to the table.

http://lanceblair.net/commercial.mp3
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Bruce
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PostPosted: Wed Mar 03, 2010 7:22 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

That's definitely you....I'd know that voice anywhere. Nice work.

B
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bobsouer
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PostPosted: Wed Mar 03, 2010 7:54 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Lance,

Spot on!
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Bob Souer (just think of lemons)
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Mandy Nelson
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Joined: 07 Aug 2008
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PostPosted: Wed Mar 03, 2010 4:47 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I've listened to all 3 and, yup, #3 is the winner!!
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