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May I have some feedback please? (II)

 
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BrandonVO



Joined: 16 Aug 2020
Posts: 20
Location: Sri Lanka

PostPosted: Wed Nov 10, 2021 9:47 am    Post subject: May I have some feedback please? (II) Reply with quote

https://voca.ro/1mb30EVUSMy2

How about this one? I made a new reel based on the kind feedback I received on my previous voiceover. Is this reel better? I endeavoured to infuse same with my theatre technique, approaching the script as a actor would a movie script. Much grateful for your thoughts!
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Bruce
Boardmeister


Joined: 06 Jun 2005
Posts: 7569
Location: Portland, OR

PostPosted: Wed Nov 10, 2021 10:05 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Better with less shouting. It’s “sing songy” with your voice going up and down in pitch not always for a natural reason. Try reading copy as if you’re respectfully encouraging your parents to do something, or convincing someone you love to go somewhere, or telling two of your friends about a nice meal you had. “See” them as you read the copy. Would you yell at them? Would you use an artificial reading style? Probably not. You would tell them as an interested son, or lover, or pal.

B
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Mandy Nelson
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Joined: 07 Aug 2008
Posts: 2829
Location: Wicked Mainah

PostPosted: Wed Nov 10, 2021 11:25 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hello, Brandon! Bruce makes some great points, as did Philp in your last critique ask. At first I wanted to critique all of the extra noise that is happening in your environment but right now that isn't as important as taking deep breathes and really listening to yourself. Make these reads faster and slower as you practice them. Chance your tone, cadence, etc. Getting out of your head and forgetting there is a mic there with you is the best you can do. Keep working it!!!!
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ConnieTerwilliger
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Joined: 07 Dec 2004
Posts: 3336
Location: San Diego - serving the world

PostPosted: Wed Nov 10, 2021 3:19 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

You are still not lifting the words off the page. As an interim step, I would recommend recording your side of a conversation with someone - speaking English. Get to know your own voice - how it thinks and responds.

And then take the scripts you have and do one or both of these things...

1. Remove all of the punctuation - then read it - putting in pauses where it seems right based on the meaning of the words.

2. Use the script as a guide and ad lib your way around it. Change a few words (not meaning), add some words that you would use in a conversation to reinforce what you are saying.

Then go back and read the scripts again with a better understanding of what you are actually talking about.

Another thing to try is using a "voice" that is VERY different from your own natural voice. I have a manic baptist fire and brimstone preacher or an un-educated cockney scullery maid that I can use to distract my brain from the words. I let them read the script with all of their warts and pre-conceived ideas about life. Then, when I get back to just me reading it, suddenly it sounds more believable - because they helped me understand the meaning.
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BruceG
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Joined: 01 Jun 2012
Posts: 218
Location: just south of Boston, MA

PostPosted: Wed Nov 10, 2021 8:14 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

What everyone above said, especially Connie. These are all things I've done - and they work.

I've been in VO coaching for 3 years and plan to continue and branch out. I've also taken some improv classes recently. These are valuable tools for honing the skills one has. It would be great for you to explore this as part of your preparation.

But whatever you do, take the advice you've received to heart. These are seasoned pros giving you free feedback. Use it, along with whatever reputable VO training you can get a hold of. Over time you'll see your progress if you work at it!
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BrandonVO



Joined: 16 Aug 2020
Posts: 20
Location: Sri Lanka

PostPosted: Thu Nov 11, 2021 10:12 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks everybody, that was some great advice on technique! I shall be sure to try those techniques out next time I do a voiceover!
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