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My turn for help

 
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Mandy Nelson
MMD


Joined: 07 Aug 2008
Posts: 2896
Location: Wicked Mainah

PostPosted: Sat Aug 30, 2008 1:36 pm    Post subject: My turn for help Reply with quote

I could really use some fresh ears and the feedback of those of you I've come to trust and admire (those of you I don't trust may refrain from comment Wink ). I'm actually looking forward to honest critiquing from this group. Not at all scared. Nope... Here's the link to my newest commercial demo
http://www.dandysound.com/demos.htm

Thanks!
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Last edited by Mandy Nelson on Sat Aug 30, 2008 2:24 pm; edited 1 time in total
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bigjames
Contributor II


Joined: 24 Aug 2006
Posts: 64
Location: japan

PostPosted: Sat Aug 30, 2008 2:16 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I get the 404 page when i click on your link.

please check it.
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Mandy Nelson
MMD


Joined: 07 Aug 2008
Posts: 2896
Location: Wicked Mainah

PostPosted: Sat Aug 30, 2008 2:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks James. I fixed it...I had left a period at the end of the link.
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Manfillappsoc: The Mandy and Philip mutual appreciation Society. Who's in your network?

Have you seen my mic closet? ~ me to my future husband
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Craig
Been Here Awhile


Joined: 17 Mar 2007
Posts: 250
Location: SLC, Ut

PostPosted: Sat Aug 30, 2008 4:06 pm    Post subject: I like it! Reply with quote

My first thought was that the first two items were a bit too similar.

Upon second listen, I hear the diff, but I wonder if you might want to mix one of the later samples in second place to showcase your great versatility.

Nice job!

Craig
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Mandy Nelson
MMD


Joined: 07 Aug 2008
Posts: 2896
Location: Wicked Mainah

PostPosted: Sat Aug 30, 2008 4:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oh, great idea, Craig. Thanks!
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Manfillappsoc: The Mandy and Philip mutual appreciation Society. Who's in your network?

Have you seen my mic closet? ~ me to my future husband
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Lizden
A Zillion


Joined: 04 Dec 2006
Posts: 8856
Location: The dark recesses of my mind

PostPosted: Sat Aug 30, 2008 4:52 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

OK...I normally refrain from demo critiques, cause many others are much better at it than I, but I had to say I LOVED the way you ended it! Laugh

The only other thing I'd mention is that the "Program for students with disabilities" sounds more like it should be on a narration demo than a commecial one.

Nice sound! Laugh

Liz
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robert jadah
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PostPosted: Sat Aug 30, 2008 7:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ask, Mandy, and ye shall receive:

I'd move the Honey bit into the number two slot to reflect a huge variation. I'd drop the Disability spot completely, since it only showcases your ability to dial down to hum-drumness. I'd also lose the closing bit. While it is sort of endearing and charming, so is my three-legged Labrador; and she has no place on a pro demo either.
The other advantage is it would bring the whole shebang into a more engaging 1:05 or so.

Your delivery is lovely. Your voice is gin-laced honey. And you sure can bring a smirk, a smile, and a growl to your copy.
I'd say it's a keeper.

But that's just me.
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bobsouer
Frequent Flyer


Joined: 15 Jul 2006
Posts: 9882
Location: Pittsburgh, PA

PostPosted: Sat Aug 30, 2008 8:26 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Mandy,

I think you have a very engaging voice and you can certainly talk fast when you need to! I agree with Robert's suggestion about removing the Disability spot, though not for the reason stated. I think it's nicely delivered, but it is more of a narration delivery and won't advance your commercial spot VO career in any meaningful way.

The ending is cute. If that's what you want to convey, I'm not troubled by it. You'll never please everyone, so if you're going to take a risk in your demo, the end is the place for it.

I also agree with the comments by Craig about the first two cuts being too similar. However, unless that's your bread and butter for commercial bookings, I would not start with that sound, that delivery. I'm not sure what I would put first, but not the super fast talking. That would be a great second or third cut to take us in a completely different direction, but not to start.
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Chrissy
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PostPosted: Sat Aug 30, 2008 9:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Mandy,

I agree that your voice is lovely. I'm not sure either which one you should start with but the Car Share does need to move to second place. It will make a good contrast if you start with Tumble Play Time. I also agree that Disabilities isn't appropriate for the Commercial section.

With Identity Theft I need to hear in your voice the emotion you are experiencing. Are you angry, shocked etc.?
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Jeffrey Kafer
Assistant Zookeeper


Joined: 09 Dec 2006
Posts: 4931
Location: Location, Location!

PostPosted: Sat Aug 30, 2008 11:55 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I agree with Bob. The first spot is way too jarring to have as a first spot. Your second one is more of your money voice so I'd lead with that one.

My gut feel is that they all kind of sound the same. After about 30 seconds into it, I was thinking "ok, I hear the signature voice. Now what else can she do?" I was hoping for more range and heard some glimmers of it, but not as much as I wanted to.

The cutesy ending is ok. If anyone turns you down as a result of it, you probably wouldn't want to work with them anyway. Smile
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Jodi Krangle
Contributor IV


Joined: 21 Nov 2007
Posts: 140
Location: Toronto area, Canada

PostPosted: Sun Aug 31, 2008 7:07 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hey there, Mandy. I'm not really sure I'm qualified to comment ... but since I really do love your voice, I thought, why not? Smile

I liked the first spot, though I think I would have liked to have heard you slow down and relax a *tiny* bit more before the end of it. Really *relax* when you say "relax". Laugh Do I think it should remain as the first spot? Well... maybe not. I like the idea of jarring someone into listening more (considering my *own* first spot <laugh>) ... but I think the spot would need to be shorter to do that. Just a bit of a burst and then into something of huge contrast - something slower and using your signature voice. Maybe even the Celtics spot?

Have to agree about the disability spot. Seemed like more of a narration piece than a commercial piece ...

You have a *great* voice for advertising children's products, I have to say. Smile

Liked the Honey spot, but I thought it sounded loud as compared to the rest of the demo ... at least in bits and pieces of it... That's just a mixing thing though. You know, it might just work to put the Celtics spot first ... then the Car Share commercial next ...

One thing is that I really would have liked to have heard you do something in a lower register with your voice - or even a whisper or more intimate piece.

I thought the ending was cute. And I'm with Jeffrey on that one. It's always nice to work with people that have a sense of humor. Wink And it's nice too, to reward folks who bother to listen to the demo all the way through. Laugh

Keep up the great work!
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Philip Banks
Je Ne Sais Quoi


Joined: 20 Jun 2005
Posts: 11048
Location: Portgordon, Scotland

PostPosted: Sat Sep 06, 2008 2:55 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I was going to say put 3 and 5 where 2 and 6 are then edit 1 to 9 seconds and recompress 4 to -6db. The end should start where the beginning used to be before the pre-post after edit fixes were.

2008. The Voice Over market is saturated. Luckily it is so saturated that some of the drips are falling out. With your skills you can make a great demo, one that will open doors to the jobs to which you aspire. You need to craft a demo for the $10,000 per job market and the $100 jobs will come not the other way around. First dare to dream a little and then make the demo you never dared make before. Some people can legitimately say "this demo is as good as I get". I seriously doubt that's true in your case.
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