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Commerical Demo Critique

 
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krisestep



Joined: 09 Jan 2017
Posts: 4

PostPosted: Wed Feb 12, 2020 1:58 pm    Post subject: Commerical Demo Critique Reply with quote

Hey All! I've been a member here for a while but mostly reading posts and not posting myself. I've appreciated the honest and helpful feedback you all have provided for others and I'd love to get some feedback on my new commercial demo. Thanks!!

https://youtu.be/ehtQkPLnpHo
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Rick Riley
Flight Attendant


Joined: 12 Aug 2011
Posts: 807
Location: Portland, OR

PostPosted: Mon Feb 24, 2020 1:28 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hey Kris,

I rarely visit VO-BB. It’s a great place, but trying to prioritize in the new year, so it’s an occasional stop for me.

I saw your request for a critique. I can’t believe you’ve had over 180 views, you posted Feb 12th, it’s the 24th, and not one reply. That’s not par for the course around here, so I’m writing.

It sounds like you put it together yourself, yes / no? Answer that question for me and I’ll move forward with hopefully, some help.
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krisestep



Joined: 09 Jan 2017
Posts: 4

PostPosted: Mon Feb 24, 2020 1:35 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hey Rick!
Thanks for replying. To answer your question, no I didn’t put it together myself. Look forward to hearing your thoughts.
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Rick Riley
Flight Attendant


Joined: 12 Aug 2011
Posts: 807
Location: Portland, OR

PostPosted: Mon Feb 24, 2020 1:56 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

OK, so it was done by someone who does demos. Well I don’t want to malign them, but it doesn’t sound professionally produced. The first clip is way to short. It says, ‘here’s a voice’ but nothing more than that.

The rest of the clips don’t offer that much variation in read or style. There are a couple that do, but most are, ‘here’s the same voice with different copy’, so the ones that ARE different are buried.

Again, this is just my opinion, but I think the production values are weak. When doing a spot for someone like Kohl’s, or Van’s, those are national companies. They would have top tier agencies writing their copy and producing their spots. Neither of those qualities presents itself in those spots. And it’s not necessarily your read, IMO, it’s the production values of the spots. Music is low throughout the demo, nothing catches your attention, it’s just you reading one spot after another with no reason for a break as far as a break in the production, it’s just, ‘you’ve read enough here, let’s move on to something there’.

Now that I’ve got the ball rolling, how about a couple other ears / opinions on Kris’s demo to offer him some feedback he can act on.
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Bruce
Boardmeister


Joined: 06 Jun 2005
Posts: 7921
Location: Portland, OR

PostPosted: Mon Feb 24, 2020 2:30 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sorry I missed your post. That’s odd because I practically live here.

I like your reads a lot. Good copy interpretation with nice pacing. I agree with Rick though. The cuts need to sound like they were lifted from real spots not just one music bed after another. I’d invest in a different demo producer.


B
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I'm not a Zoo, but over the years I've played one on radio/TV. .
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craigsvoicetalent
Contributor IV


Joined: 04 Oct 2016
Posts: 149
Location: South of Houston, TX

PostPosted: Mon Feb 24, 2020 3:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Disclaimer: I am in no way experienced in Demo production

I agree with nearly everything Rick said. I would add that I think your best part of the demo is between 24-45 seconds. This shows good range and I like the sound of each spot. The reads before 45 that transitions into 46 are identical. They sound like the same spot.
Although you sound great on the Vans spot, it doesn't seem to match that brand. It has more of a Jack Daniel's vibe to it.
The beginning of the demo didn't draw me in and say "mmm, I want to hear more." Your voice and read quality are great. I just think the demo doesn't bring out the best of you.
Remember - this is only an opinion.
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krisestep



Joined: 09 Jan 2017
Posts: 4

PostPosted: Wed Feb 26, 2020 1:04 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks for the taking the time to give me some input. This was exactly what I was looking for and why I posted here as you guys always give honest opinions and this gives me some good direction to move forward.

I look forward to more communication here on the board!
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