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eLearning Demo Comments?

 
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Mike Harrison
The Gates of Troy


Joined: 03 Nov 2007
Posts: 1768
Location: Equidistant from New York City and Philadelphia, along the NJ Shore

PostPosted: Sat Jul 06, 2019 11:29 am    Post subject: eLearning Demo Comments? Reply with quote

I am extremely self-critical, always second-guessing myself and tend to over-think things. Please tell me if there is too much ________, too little ________ and anything else, whatever it happens to be.

EDIT: This is a NEW demo, uploaded in response to Connie's comments below.
eLearning Demo

Many thanks.
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Mike
Male Voice Over Talent
The first step, they say, is admitting it: I am an O.A.V. And proud of it.



Last edited by Mike Harrison on Mon Jul 08, 2019 7:59 am; edited 2 times in total
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ConnieTerwilliger
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Joined: 07 Dec 2004
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Location: San Diego - serving the world

PostPosted: Sun Jul 07, 2019 7:28 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Mike - they all sound the same - despite the difference subjects. Well, the last one has a little bit more smile in it - the copy is written differently as well. But the pacing, the articulation, etc. All have the same general feel to them. And it feels over-articulated to me.

You need to find ways to bring variety to the mix.

Do you have some much friendlier sounding takes. One conversational. One caring and warm. One serious and concerned. One at a quicker pace - perhaps aimed a younger audience. One for educated peers. One introducing completely new terms/subject. While the medical script is good for the big words, it sounds so staccato that I think the audience might start to wonder if it is being computer generated.
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Mike Harrison
The Gates of Troy


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Location: Equidistant from New York City and Philadelphia, along the NJ Shore

PostPosted: Mon Jul 08, 2019 7:54 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Great, Connie, thanks. That's exactly the kind of feedback I was looking for. I for some reason got it into my head that it was best to have examples of the most recent work and, in pulling those together, my diversity was left out. As for the medical piece, I really didn't care for it for the same reason but, as the read was directed for a major medical publisher's animation (this was one of a series), I figured perhaps this was a style other such companies might want.

But there's an entirely new demo in its place now. If you don't mind, please listen again and let me know your thoughts on this one. Thanks again!
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Mike
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The first step, they say, is admitting it: I am an O.A.V. And proud of it.

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Bruce
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Joined: 06 Jun 2005
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Location: Portland, OR

PostPosted: Mon Jul 08, 2019 9:55 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Most narration producers wouldn't know or care about what's the most recent material in your repertoire. They only want an honest representation of your performance abilities today. With commercial demos, yes, age matters. Shilling for a car brand that doesn't exist anymore would be a no-no. I did some great spots for Chevy Lumina years ago that would be a head scratcher today.

If you have variety in you I'd definitely show it in a demo. The more variety you offer the more likely you are to hit on a style they like. I am not the paragon of demo makers, but my narration examples have included instructions on how to tie down a load geared to truckers, how to set up a CRM program for insurance brokers, techniques for surgeons, how to file a flight plan, calculus for physics students, and such. Every approach was quite different. Every one was geared for what I thought were the audience's interests and abilities.

Show off a little... even a lot.

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ConnieTerwilliger
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PostPosted: Tue Jul 09, 2019 6:56 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Better variety. The black and white cut should be closer to the top with the next ones following. The diabetes one with the crazy music just seems strange to me and I probably wouldn't use it in the demo. If you have another medical piece - or even try the one from the last version you posted and see how that sounds.
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Bruce
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PostPosted: Tue Jul 09, 2019 7:12 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yep, great variety in the new version. I also say kill the goofy music clip.


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Mike Harrison
The Gates of Troy


Joined: 03 Nov 2007
Posts: 1768
Location: Equidistant from New York City and Philadelphia, along the NJ Shore

PostPosted: Thu Jul 25, 2019 5:48 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Many thanks, Connie and Bruce. I moved the black & white clip to #2, but kept the diabetes clip with the goofy music (moving it to #4) because its an excerpt from an actual quiz game, and it has helped land several similar projects since.

My apologies for not responding sooner: for some reason, when I subscribe to threads here, I apparently get one notification for the first reply only, but no others, so I didn't realize you had commented again.
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Mike
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