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Critique my DEMO

 
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bradhamilton



Joined: 25 Oct 2017
Posts: 7

PostPosted: Fri Jan 11, 2019 11:43 am    Post subject: Critique my DEMO Reply with quote

So... I had a local engineer put this together for me...- It was cheap - How do you feel? Smile I look forward to anyone's response! Thanks!!


https://drive.google.com/open?id=14samxwC97Bmf8XfzeFu14Wy45mRmnDJB
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Philip Banks
Je Ne Sais Quoi


Joined: 20 Jun 2005
Posts: 11046
Location: Portgordon, Scotland

PostPosted: Fri Jan 11, 2019 12:06 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I could nitpick but I'm not going to because I think if you put that demo out there it will get you work, paid work.

Your demo sits exactly where your voice sits, any subtleties required will come from direction. The direction will take your reads from where you think you should be to where the person paying you wants you to be. Embrace the subtleties, learn to hear them and create them.

You'll be fine.
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Bruce
Boardmeister


Joined: 06 Jun 2005
Posts: 7919
Location: Portland, OR

PostPosted: Fri Jan 11, 2019 12:59 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

It's a decent beginning demo. A few nit picks:

Most cuts are a little "announcery". It would help to pull back a bit and be more conversational in tone.

First cut, see above but it's good. What the heck is the crying baby type noise under that read? Weird.

Second cut is a bit "rural" in delivery (monotone, slow read) where a Steven King ad would have a more theatrical read in my opinion. A better, more dramatic music choice would be nice too.

Third cut, a little too smiley sounding. There's a way to sound sweet and enthused without being treacley.

Fourth cut, good business read, but maybe with less or no music?

Fifth cut, an "I'm too hungover to take my own car to work" ad? If you're trying to sound like a national talent, even if you're not yet, I'd leave local only kinds of ads off my demo. Plus, you don't sound Canadian (good for working all over North America) but mentioning Saskatoon in an ad kind of pegs you.

B
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VO-BB Member #31 Enlisted June, 2005

I'm not a Zoo, but over the years I've played one on radio/TV. .
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bradhamilton



Joined: 25 Oct 2017
Posts: 7

PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2019 5:15 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thank you both so much, for the thoughts on my demo. It's a process for sure, but with time I'll hopefully be able to get a better quality demo done. Smile
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Philip Banks
Je Ne Sais Quoi


Joined: 20 Jun 2005
Posts: 11046
Location: Portgordon, Scotland

PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2019 6:02 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

You're welcome.

Selectively use what you have to get some money rolling in and re-invest some of the profits to buy/produce another demo with added fragrance and gold.
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