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G'won pick a coach

 
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Philip Banks
Je Ne Sais Quoi


Joined: 20 Jun 2005
Posts: 11046
Location: Portgordon, Scotland

PostPosted: Sun Apr 08, 2018 1:28 am    Post subject: G'won pick a coach Reply with quote

Choose me! Really. CHOOSE ME!

International Oscar winning or nominated movie credits 2. Volver and The Queen.

Major international on screen speaking TV roles. BBC Casualty worldwide audience of 372 million.

Video games. The Wolf Among us,. Played The Crooked Man. Apparently it was quite popular and made several dollars for the makers. Have done others.

International TV commercials. Universal Studios Harry Potter, BUPA, Qatar Airways, Citizen Watches plus many more. Some ran in over 40 countries.

TV promo - CNN, CNBC, ITV, BBC, Sky, HBO, PBS to name but 6.

Weird fact - Voice heard on a daily basis by top 20% of income earners worldwide

Million dollar c'reer? Ask the former Mrs Banks! Divorce settlement prompted a "sorry to hear your news" email from Johnny Depp.

Student testimonials - TUMBLEWEED! They all now have a special number to dial - 1 800-THAT'STHE LAST-TIME-I-TALKUOFFABRIDGE

Student sponsoring airlines. British Airways, KLM, Delta, FLYBE, BMI and Amy Johnson International.

SALE NOW ON!
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Bish
3.5 kHz


Joined: 22 Nov 2009
Posts: 3738
Location: Lost in the cultural wasteland of Long Island

PostPosted: Sun Apr 08, 2018 4:56 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Doris (the seer of all things) predicts that you will fail miserably. The mysteries of the teacup are revealed only to her! (note: must use Indian tea).

1) You are too cheap... I saw that 1.09 coaching proposal yesterday! People perceive free or cheap as having no value. Charge at least 37.95 and people will beat a path to your door (and Bess can have the occasional Hobnob as well).

2) You don't strike a pose (sincere look and classic microphone) whenever anyone points a camera at you. If it helps, you could do it ironically. No one (well... no one of importance) will notice.

4) What you've actually done means diddly... and experience just means that you are old. Sell on the vague promise of financial success and the veiled threat that if they don't, they will not be competitive. Fear is the key.

5) Your marketing style (I say, old chap... this is quality stuff and it's here if you want it) doesn't work with da kids. You need to be in their faces so that whenever anyone mentions coaching in a conversation, even if they're talking about bussing people from London to Birmingham, somebody will spew forth your name in an uncontrolled Pavlovian reaction.
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Bish a.k.a. Bish
Smoke me a kipper... I'll be back for breakfast.
I will not feed the trolls... I will not feed the trolls... I will not feed the trolls... I will not feed the trolls.
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Philip Banks
Je Ne Sais Quoi


Joined: 20 Jun 2005
Posts: 11046
Location: Portgordon, Scotland

PostPosted: Sun Apr 08, 2018 5:35 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ok, here's the pitch!
Thanks for the c'reer guidance!

https://vimeo.com/263728752
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Deirdre
Czarina Emeritus


Joined: 10 Nov 2004
Posts: 13016
Location: East Jesus, Maine

PostPosted: Sun Apr 08, 2018 6:39 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Philip, it's time to come in for tea.
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Philip Banks
Je Ne Sais Quoi


Joined: 20 Jun 2005
Posts: 11046
Location: Portgordon, Scotland

PostPosted: Sun Apr 08, 2018 7:32 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

BUSTED! She (who must be obeyed) has powers y'know!
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