VO-BB - 19 YEARS OLD!

Depthpersuasion · Posted: Fri Mar 07, 2014 6:45 pm Post subject: The Website Critique

Hey, guys. Many of you have been great to me with your honesty on here. So I come to'ya again to get critique on the updated site.

http://DanielPierceVoiceArtist.com

All critique is welcome. I know our time is valuable and means a lot for those of you that take it to do this.

See'ya out there soon,

-Daniel Pierce
_________________
Richard D. Hall
http://RichardDHallVoiceActor.com

Jason Huggins · Posted: Sat Mar 08, 2014 6:05 pm Post subject:

I just looked via mobile so my perspective comes from that angle. I have a couple things. First, ya gotta get rid of the gmail address it screams, "I'm not serious enough to have a paid domain," even though you have one. Second, the copy needs to be written for the audience...not for you. You aren't selling your voice, you are selling a solution to a problem. The problem...the client needs the perfect voice for a project. Your site needs to be about the client, and the copy is a huge part of how you make it about them. They don't need your philosophy...they to see that you are a solution to their problem, and they need to see it in about 30 seconds.

Your demo is what will ultimately convince them of you ability to solve their problem. Is should definitely be above the fold. That is why they are there.

Jason Huggins · Posted: Sat Mar 08, 2014 6:10 pm Post subject:

Checked on the computer. Demos are above the fold on desktop...but they should be on mobile as well. Ditch the autoplay on the demo. That can really piss people off. Say they are in a quiet room, and just want to view some info on you...that demo comes blasting out and embarrasses them. Not a good thing. People expect to hit play.

Overall, good clean appearance. I'd develop the brand a bit more though.

Jeffrey Kafer · Posted: Sat Mar 08, 2014 10:24 pm Post subject:

Dude, the video. I know you're trying to be cool and sexy, but it's coming across as super cheesy and a bit creepy. Especially since it adds nothing to the overall site or content other than "I look forward to working with you (insert pseudo-sexy smirk)"
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Jeff
http://JeffreyKafer.com
Voice-overload Web comic: http://voice-overload.com

Scott Pollak · Posted: Sun Mar 09, 2014 4:11 am Post subject:

Hey, Daniel, nice to 'meet' you here.

I looked at your site yesterday and have been wrestling with whether I should post a brutally honest thought or just let it go. And I don't want you to feel like we're all 'piling on' you here. You asked for feedback, sooooo...... let me just throw out MY first reaction and please - this isn't personal. It's just one guy's thoughts on one particular page of your site, so give it the weight it may, or may not, deserve.

The only term that keeps coming to mind when I read the 'About' page (which I've read three times now) is: esoteric bullshit. (Also: enticing is misspelled).

C'mon, just tell your clients - who are, more often than not, going to be either producers or corporate types - something ABOUT YOURSELF (as the page title indicates). What is your background? Who have you done work for? Really, a conversational BRIEF (1 paragraph) encapsulation of what's on your resume page (which is, btw, unnecessary on your site).

What you have there right now on your "About" page tells us nothing and - to me - just came across as esoteric new-age blather. It sounds contrived, pompous and in all honesty, doesn't tell us a single thing about you, your voice, or your capabilities or talents. It reminds me of when corporations used meaningless terms like "synergy" and "Core competency", etc.

Again, I KNOW this is a harsh critique and it is NOT a personal attack. I just think you need to use that page to actually tell about you and not contrive some hyper-creative attempt at trying to wow (i.e.: bullshit) a potential client with esoteric free-flow verbiage.

+1 with Jeff on the video, too.
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Scott R. Pollak
Clients include Pandora, NPR Atlanta, Wells Fargo, Cisco, Humana, Publix, UPS, AT&T, HP, Xerox and more.

www.voicebyscott.com

Bruce · Posted: Sun Mar 09, 2014 9:02 am Post subject:

A PayPal

button?

Really? Claiming you're a charity so you can get discounted rates through them... interesting, but they won't be happy when they find out you're a business.

B
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VO-BB Member #31 Enlisted June, 2005

I'm not a Zoo, but over the years I've played one on radio/TV. .

Bob Bergen · CM Joined: 22 Apr 2008 Posts: 939

Hey buddy! Gotta tell you, I agree with everything already posted. You are working so hard to convince users how brilliant and different you are, it comes off presumptuous and narcissistic. I'm assuming you took the video down??? I didn't see it.

Surf the sites of the top vo talent working today. None of them take the time to tell those visiting their site why they are so good, or describe how their voice will change the world. It's all about the talent. It's all about the demo. Let the buyers tell you how wonderful you are by auditioning and (or) hiring you. Get rid of:

"Smooth, persuasive, cool, deep, and warm. I'll ensure my performances bring you a heartbeat with an edge, to convince the unconvinced. When you need your business to be cool with care, I'll work with you to bring life to the words to persuade your audience to take part in what you and I have to offer."

This is such a turnoff I have no desire to hear your demos. I doubt they could live up to this statement.

I get what you are trying to do. You want to get noticed amongst everyone else. But you need to do it in a less pretentious way.

Hope this helps!

ConnieTerwilliger · Posted: Sun Mar 09, 2014 12:00 pm Post subject:

Daniel, your demos are good. Let them tell your story.

You really don't need to say much - if anything. Check out www.etvo.net (although I was expecting a list of clients when I clicked on the clients tab - not the client log in area...!)

And the resume page is completely unnecessary.
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Playing for a living...
www.voiceover-talent.com
YouTube Channel: http://youtube.com/connieterwilliger

Gregory Best · Posted: Sun Mar 09, 2014 1:12 pm Post subject:

Daniel, you've gotten some great feedback here from topnotch pros. Give what they say serious thought. I've mentioned before I would get rid of the depthpursuasion moniker. It adds nothing to your brand. Keep you brand simple and easy to relate too. Your demos are good. You're show casing them on your site not your over-the-top copy. Your site should let your demos shine. On my phone your site is very hard to navigate and hard to see but a little at a time. Best if luck.

(We just got Dreamweaver to update my 7 years out-of-date website. Life's challenges and health issues have a way of getting in the way.)
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Gregory Best

greg@gregorybest.com

Depthpersuasion · Posted: Sun Mar 09, 2014 9:13 pm Post subject:

Thanks for all the advice guys. It's gratefully brought me back to my original approach to this.
_________________
Richard D. Hall
http://RichardDHallVoiceActor.com

Depthpersuasion · Posted: Sun Mar 09, 2014 9:25 pm Post subject:

Depthpersuasion · Posted: Sun Mar 09, 2014 9:48 pm Post subject:

For those that would like to see the video that I had posted, so you may concur or add your own thoughts here'ya go:

http://youtu.be/UTms7cBRz8Y
_________________
Richard D. Hall
http://RichardDHallVoiceActor.com

heyguido · Posted: Mon Mar 10, 2014 1:08 am Post subject:

Uh, yeah.... No.

While I'm not sure why Jeff saw it as cool or sexy.... Shocked

It definitely has no place on your website.

Frankly, you're better off letting your voice and your work speak for itself. There's a strong disconnect between your pipes and your image. Ditch the image, and let them wonder who you are.

Lose the extraneous copy, the meaningless positioning, the marketspeak, and the bullsh*t. In this case, less is definitely more.

Record daily. Stretch your horizons, and explore new venues. Save the good, and work on improving the demos. Update them as you find more gems. Keep them above the fold, and share the link with those that hire. Do it politely, and humbly.

As you have successes, include them in your demos, and highlight them on your site.... Without bragging.

Your voice can carry you.... If you take your time, and develop your chops, you really do have a bright future.

Ninja

_________________
Don Brookshire
"Wait.... They wanna PAY me for this?"

Depthpersuasion · Posted: Mon Mar 10, 2014 1:14 am Post subject:

Depthpersuasion · Posted: Mon Mar 10, 2014 1:17 am Post subject: