Deirdre
Czarina Emeritus
Joined: 10 Nov 2004
Posts: 13016
Location: East Jesus, Maine
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 Posted: Fri Jan 15, 2010 6:15 pm Post subject: |
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I'm sorry this sat unanswered so long in CRITIQUE. It got lost in the Christmas flurry, I'm afraid.
I listened to your commercial demo.
I like your sound— you seem to have an easygoing, friendly delivery that is really quite engaging. Not exactly the Smucker's guy (which is good!), but in that general area of "I like this guy".
Your demo needs to show even more range than you have here.
YOUR range, not production range.
The following is a mix of my first responses and then additional feedback as I went back and listened carefully the 2nd and 3rd times.
All-new Century. Wacky music, nice vocal sound.
Wow— wrong BG music here. You sound wonderfully jocular, but a little strained here and there. "Which does exactly what the name says" is oddly mechanical.
Bayer with drums in the back?!? same voice as 1.
Mushy on "proven to" and "of a". Ends well—authoritative, but the background music was once again way too peculiar.
A too-long music intro to "one of our parks". Was there a stereo split with some of the sentences? too "sweet" on "celebrating". Watch the "R" in "January"— don't over-pronounce it. Nice approach in your read overall.
"How many times have you said 'I'll have the chicken'?" music mix way too loud.
It sounded like a good, different voice to have in your demo, but I just couldn't hear it very well.
At South Nassau commties hosp. VERY NICE. Basically the same voice as 1, but better all over. This is the strongest snippet in the demo.
New steak livers pizza? Yoiks, I'll pass. This cut really exemplifies the need to have a producer other than yourself for demos. WE know what we're saying! It's not always as clear to the listener.
I did like this read— it showed the kind of range you need to show— but it either needs to dial back volume while keeping the intensity, or add grit and turn it up.
last cut: Since the beginning of time, majestic sound to joke. I rather liked the pompous sound of the fellow beginning his oration! I do think the "falling out of character" needs to be more dramatic.
Steve, you've clearly got ability. You just need some serious directing to get the best out of your recordings.
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DBCooperVO.com |
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SMSinger
Joined: 13 Dec 2006
Posts: 8
Location: New York
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| Posted: Fri Jan 15, 2010 6:59 pm Post subject: |
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Hi DB-
This is exactly what I was looking for....Someone who is nice enough to hear my demo several times and offer a real constructive critique. Thank you very much for your time..I will re-read your comments and go back to the demo and really think about what needs to be fixed up. We really need an outside ear to hear what we dont hear.
I have been doing some auditions through CWA talent in LA since Jan 5....We'll see what happens.
Again,thanks for your time and I'll be in touch
Steve Singer,NYC |
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