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Mandy Nelson MMD
Joined: 07 Aug 2008 Posts: 2898 Location: Wicked Mainah
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Posted: Sat Aug 30, 2008 1:36 pm Post subject: My turn for help |
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I could really use some fresh ears and the feedback of those of you I've come to trust and admire (those of you I don't trust may refrain from comment ). I'm actually looking forward to honest critiquing from this group. Not at all scared. Nope... Here's the link to my newest commercial demo
http://www.dandysound.com/demos.htm
Thanks! _________________ 006 member of the Sisterhood of the Traveling Mic. Bonded by sound.
Manfillappsoc: The Mandy and Philip mutual appreciation Society. Who's in your network?
Have you seen my mic closet? ~ me to my future husband
Last edited by Mandy Nelson on Sat Aug 30, 2008 2:24 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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bigjames Contributor II
Joined: 24 Aug 2006 Posts: 64 Location: japan
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Posted: Sat Aug 30, 2008 2:16 pm Post subject: |
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I get the 404 page when i click on your link.
please check it. |
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Mandy Nelson MMD
Joined: 07 Aug 2008 Posts: 2898 Location: Wicked Mainah
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Posted: Sat Aug 30, 2008 2:25 pm Post subject: |
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Thanks James. I fixed it...I had left a period at the end of the link. _________________ 006 member of the Sisterhood of the Traveling Mic. Bonded by sound.
Manfillappsoc: The Mandy and Philip mutual appreciation Society. Who's in your network?
Have you seen my mic closet? ~ me to my future husband |
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Craig Been Here Awhile
Joined: 17 Mar 2007 Posts: 250 Location: SLC, Ut
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Posted: Sat Aug 30, 2008 4:06 pm Post subject: I like it! |
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My first thought was that the first two items were a bit too similar.
Upon second listen, I hear the diff, but I wonder if you might want to mix one of the later samples in second place to showcase your great versatility.
Nice job!
Craig _________________ Craig Park
www.parkvoiceovers.com |
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Mandy Nelson MMD
Joined: 07 Aug 2008 Posts: 2898 Location: Wicked Mainah
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Posted: Sat Aug 30, 2008 4:25 pm Post subject: |
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Oh, great idea, Craig. Thanks! _________________ 006 member of the Sisterhood of the Traveling Mic. Bonded by sound.
Manfillappsoc: The Mandy and Philip mutual appreciation Society. Who's in your network?
Have you seen my mic closet? ~ me to my future husband |
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Lizden A Zillion
Joined: 04 Dec 2006 Posts: 8856 Location: The dark recesses of my mind
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Posted: Sat Aug 30, 2008 4:52 pm Post subject: |
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OK...I normally refrain from demo critiques, cause many others are much better at it than I, but I had to say I LOVED the way you ended it!
The only other thing I'd mention is that the "Program for students with disabilities" sounds more like it should be on a narration demo than a commecial one.
Nice sound!
Liz _________________ Liz de Nesnera O.A.V. ~ Livin' The VO Dream!
English/French Bilingual VO w/ ISDN
HireLiz.com / liz@hireliz.com |
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robert jadah Guest
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Posted: Sat Aug 30, 2008 7:29 pm Post subject: |
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Ask, Mandy, and ye shall receive:
I'd move the Honey bit into the number two slot to reflect a huge variation. I'd drop the Disability spot completely, since it only showcases your ability to dial down to hum-drumness. I'd also lose the closing bit. While it is sort of endearing and charming, so is my three-legged Labrador; and she has no place on a pro demo either.
The other advantage is it would bring the whole shebang into a more engaging 1:05 or so.
Your delivery is lovely. Your voice is gin-laced honey. And you sure can bring a smirk, a smile, and a growl to your copy.
I'd say it's a keeper.
But that's just me. |
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bobsouer Frequent Flyer
Joined: 15 Jul 2006 Posts: 9882 Location: Pittsburgh, PA
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Posted: Sat Aug 30, 2008 8:26 pm Post subject: |
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Mandy,
I think you have a very engaging voice and you can certainly talk fast when you need to! I agree with Robert's suggestion about removing the Disability spot, though not for the reason stated. I think it's nicely delivered, but it is more of a narration delivery and won't advance your commercial spot VO career in any meaningful way.
The ending is cute. If that's what you want to convey, I'm not troubled by it. You'll never please everyone, so if you're going to take a risk in your demo, the end is the place for it.
I also agree with the comments by Craig about the first two cuts being too similar. However, unless that's your bread and butter for commercial bookings, I would not start with that sound, that delivery. I'm not sure what I would put first, but not the super fast talking. That would be a great second or third cut to take us in a completely different direction, but not to start. _________________ Be well,
Bob Souer (just think of lemons)
The second nicest guy in voiceover.
+1-724-613-2749
ISDN, Source Connect, phone patch |
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Chrissy Guest
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Posted: Sat Aug 30, 2008 9:53 pm Post subject: |
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Mandy,
I agree that your voice is lovely. I'm not sure either which one you should start with but the Car Share does need to move to second place. It will make a good contrast if you start with Tumble Play Time. I also agree that Disabilities isn't appropriate for the Commercial section.
With Identity Theft I need to hear in your voice the emotion you are experiencing. Are you angry, shocked etc.? |
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Jeffrey Kafer Assistant Zookeeper
Joined: 09 Dec 2006 Posts: 4931 Location: Location, Location!
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Posted: Sat Aug 30, 2008 11:55 pm Post subject: |
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I agree with Bob. The first spot is way too jarring to have as a first spot. Your second one is more of your money voice so I'd lead with that one.
My gut feel is that they all kind of sound the same. After about 30 seconds into it, I was thinking "ok, I hear the signature voice. Now what else can she do?" I was hoping for more range and heard some glimmers of it, but not as much as I wanted to.
The cutesy ending is ok. If anyone turns you down as a result of it, you probably wouldn't want to work with them anyway. _________________ Jeff
http://JeffreyKafer.com
Voice-overload Web comic: http://voice-overload.com |
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Jodi Krangle Contributor IV
Joined: 21 Nov 2007 Posts: 140 Location: Toronto area, Canada
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Posted: Sun Aug 31, 2008 7:07 am Post subject: |
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Hey there, Mandy. I'm not really sure I'm qualified to comment ... but since I really do love your voice, I thought, why not?
I liked the first spot, though I think I would have liked to have heard you slow down and relax a *tiny* bit more before the end of it. Really *relax* when you say "relax". Do I think it should remain as the first spot? Well... maybe not. I like the idea of jarring someone into listening more (considering my *own* first spot <laugh>) ... but I think the spot would need to be shorter to do that. Just a bit of a burst and then into something of huge contrast - something slower and using your signature voice. Maybe even the Celtics spot?
Have to agree about the disability spot. Seemed like more of a narration piece than a commercial piece ...
You have a *great* voice for advertising children's products, I have to say.
Liked the Honey spot, but I thought it sounded loud as compared to the rest of the demo ... at least in bits and pieces of it... That's just a mixing thing though. You know, it might just work to put the Celtics spot first ... then the Car Share commercial next ...
One thing is that I really would have liked to have heard you do something in a lower register with your voice - or even a whisper or more intimate piece.
I thought the ending was cute. And I'm with Jeffrey on that one. It's always nice to work with people that have a sense of humor. And it's nice too, to reward folks who bother to listen to the demo all the way through.
Keep up the great work! _________________ Jodi Krangle @ voiceoversandvocals.com
How does sound influence us?
Check out the Audio Branding Podcast
@ audiobrandingpodcast.com |
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Philip Banks Je Ne Sais Quoi
Joined: 20 Jun 2005 Posts: 11048 Location: Portgordon, Scotland
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Posted: Sat Sep 06, 2008 2:55 pm Post subject: |
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I was going to say put 3 and 5 where 2 and 6 are then edit 1 to 9 seconds and recompress 4 to -6db. The end should start where the beginning used to be before the pre-post after edit fixes were.
2008. The Voice Over market is saturated. Luckily it is so saturated that some of the drips are falling out. With your skills you can make a great demo, one that will open doors to the jobs to which you aspire. You need to craft a demo for the $10,000 per job market and the $100 jobs will come not the other way around. First dare to dream a little and then make the demo you never dared make before. Some people can legitimately say "this demo is as good as I get". I seriously doubt that's true in your case. |
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