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Critiques requested

 
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Dave S
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PostPosted: Sat Nov 18, 2006 9:50 am    Post subject: Critiques requested Reply with quote

Hi, everyone, please provide some feedback on these demo clips if you can. Anything you can comment on, like order of play, lack of music, "that stinks", or whatever, will be appreciated.

Characters
Commercials

Thanks!

Dave S
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Rob Ellis
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Joined: 01 Aug 2006
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Location: Detroit

PostPosted: Sat Nov 18, 2006 12:10 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I like the character reads---both were believable.

The two "straight" reads need to be more conversational in my opinion

I recognize them as practice scripts from Elaine Clark's "There's Money Where Your Mouth Is" book---prob wouldn't use those scripts on my actual demo for that reason...

At the same time,I commend you for actually using the scripts from that book. They are good practice. I think a lot of people just read the book and never do any of the exercises!
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Rob Ellis
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PostPosted: Sat Nov 18, 2006 12:12 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

P.S. I was referring to the "Commercials" link in my comments, no the "Characters" link.
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Dave S
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PostPosted: Sun Nov 19, 2006 11:06 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks, Rob, for your opinions. I guess you mean my two straight reads need to sound more like a real guy talking to you, right? You're right, I did get some of those from that book. I will look for some new material.
Anyone else?

Thanks
Dave S
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Rob Ellis
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PostPosted: Sun Nov 19, 2006 11:14 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yes, the straight reads sound a little too announcery IMHO....and that is something that as an ex-radio guy I am constantly working on getting away from myself, so you are not alone...
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Bruce
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PostPosted: Mon Nov 20, 2006 6:32 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Regarding your commercial demo, you're on the right track. You understand copy interpretation better than many at this stage. Practice, practice, practice, a little more training from a pro, and you'll do well.

Your character demo is really an impersonation demo of famous lines from other characters, and those actors already did those lines, and I'm afraid to say a lot better and more convincingly than you have. Character demos should be for the most part ORIGINAL characters...whatever you're best at...say a Southerner, a Brit, a mad scientist, an oaf, a CEO, a nebbishy underling. You'll also need to be a lot more convincing in your portrayals (including the pirate in your commercial demo). Acting classes young Master Dave. Acting classes.

B
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Bailey
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PostPosted: Mon Nov 20, 2006 6:52 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

More variety of commercial reads in your demo is needed. This will give the client a chance to hear your voice in different ranges and inflections. Even though commercials are all different, one thing is very much the same. Try speaking as if you are talking to one person. You're telling a friend or a stranger about a particular product or service. Most people like commercials with a feeling of a one on one basis. I guess personal would be the word. There will also be times when your read is all inclusive to the radio audience.

As I mentioned before, copy is all around you for creating a demo. Newsprint... magazines... radio & television. Be sure that the copy is not referencing a visual presentation.

Listen to radio commercials. The techniques that they use... style... timing. It's not about just reading. Even though you are reading... it shouldn't sound like you are. This may be a poor example but here goes... If you've ever seen a Japanese water garden, you'll see no signs of human intervention. That's because the idea is to imitate nature as close as possible. (Something like that)
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Dave S
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PostPosted: Tue Nov 21, 2006 7:16 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks to all for your opinions, they have been very helpful. I've got a lot of things to work on!

Dave S
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