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30 reasons to Smile!

 
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Frank F
Fat, Old, and Sassy


Joined: 10 Nov 2004
Posts: 4421
Location: Park City, Utah

PostPosted: Mon Apr 25, 2005 4:33 pm    Post subject: 30 reasons to Smile! Reply with quote

Everyone needs a laugh to start the week with so here is something I thought you ALL might like - or at least get a giggle out of...



30 Lines to make you smile



1. My wife and I divorced over religious differences: she thought she was God and I didn't.

2. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.

3. I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare Depend on Me!

4. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.

5. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

6. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.

7. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

8. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

9. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

10...I’m not a complete idiot --Some parts are missing.

11. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

12. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.

13. God must love stupid people; He made so many.

14. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

15. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

16. Ever stop to think and forget to start again?

17. Being "over the hill" is much better than being under it!

18. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.

19. Procrastinate Now!

20. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts. Do You Want Fries With That?

21. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

22. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance

23. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!

24. They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.

25. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead.

26. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.

27. Ham and eggs: A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.

28. The trouble with life is there's no background music.

29. The original point-and-click interface was a Smith & Wesson.

30. I smile because I don't know what the heck is going on.



Frank F
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BBeen
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PostPosted: Mon Apr 25, 2005 6:10 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

On the same note three inspirational phrases to live your life by;



1. Today is yesterdays tomorrow



2. No matter where you go, there you are



3. When we were kids, we were younger
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Gp
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PostPosted: Tue Apr 26, 2005 6:37 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Another perennial favorite although not really related to above it certainly is one of those great pearls of wisdom.



"No matter how high a duck flies, a hammer still breaks a window."



Gp
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Jim Barton
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PostPosted: Tue Apr 26, 2005 10:49 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

After holing an impressively long putt, a golfing buddy humbly said to me, "Even a blind squirrel finds a nut sometime."



Jim
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